Well its been kind of up down sins I last blogged. Sandra left me and it left me broken and depressed. There were times were I achuly begged her to come back. When she left me for her ex when I did nothing to her wrong and she said she still loved me and was happy with me it just left me asking questions. But she isn't good with presher so she dosent really tell me. Me and her for the last few weeks have fought so much and it hurts me everytime we always make up in the end but I'm just afaird that one of these times when we say bye thats really going to be bye I've been trying to not fight with her today. I just get things in my head and I think its real and I end up fighting with her about it or she dose somthing I dont like and I blow it out of proprion even though I know shes not going to do anything and even if she did its not like I have any right to say anything shes just living her life. I just cant get over her cause she mad me so happy when I was with her. When she say she loves me I beleave her. No other girl I really beleaved it exsepted jen but I know thats a diffent love. I just want that back but I think at this point that if she did I dont think it would be like before.
School has been kind of going fast past sins its almost end of the year. I got finnal stuff for BOCES dues. Papers for english that I said where done that I should be working on now. My math teacher Mr. Bishop is trying to get me ready for the GED test next year. It dosent seem like a lot but it is.
I've been talking to my friend jen and carol alot latly and I dont know how I would have made it through this hole thing with sandra with out them. They must be tired of hearing it by now cause there is always somthing new with me and her and they here it. Though carol got me worried a week ago when her dog got hit by a car. I she called me form the hospital and I herd her cry she was so destroyed and then her mom came out and I herd them both cry it was the worst thing I ever herd and I never want to here it again for awile everytime I closed my eyes I could still hear it. So even though I didnt know her dog it still efected me and the people around her. I so badly wanted to get a plane ticket to L.A. so I could be there to make her feel better like she dose every day. Now to jen and well jen is still awsome to me and I still love her and her photography skills.
I guess I should just sum this all up by saying last month it was just life. By that I mean it was a rolercoster ride. I was on top and then it went down then went up again and down again. As of today its going back up the big hump agian so at some point it will go down but for now everything is good and I couldnt be happier.
- Mike
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